Finding who I am in God

Hey friends, it's Savanna. A lot has happened since last I wrote - so this may be a little scattered somewhat, but I'll try to get it all out as good as possible. Last week we had Patrick Dodson as our speaker - the topic for the week we thought was "Hearing the Voice of God" which I was so stoked for, but what we learned was almost merely the opposite. We were encouraged to explore the creativeness that God instilled into us, to use it to the fullest and not settle. But you can look at our school's blog for more information about that. I have to be honest with you guys, a lot of what Patrick said rubbed me the wrong way, and he knows too. Ever since I've known God, I believed that He has a plan for me and a will that He wants me to follow that is different than what I come up with, and I've longed for follow His will for me. Down to where to do His work, who I will marry, etc. However, Patrick said that is not true, God wants us to come up with what happens in life and allow God to be a part of it. I didn't like that. And until I find scripture to say otherwise (I am going to study this further) I'm going to see God as I always have. I believe He cares about me enough to have picked the perfect man for me, and has made me the way I am for specific purposes that He wants me to follow.

I was, however, so very motivated to try harder when it comes to my art - photography. I'm inspired to find different angles, adjust various levels, and be more creative with my pictures. I've also started learning how to play guitar - YAY! I've wanted to learn to play for SUCH a long time! Also last week I dreaded one of the guy fellow DTSers here, which took about 4 hours but it looks good! Mine are still coming along too - I put a few beads in to touch them up a bit :)

On Saturday we went to the SF food bank to work for 3 hours - it made for a long day but we had so much fun dancing while packing boxes! Haha :)

Ministry groups have been going good - last week we sat the whole time with an older man who has been there since the 60's, and the rest were street kids who are always there. No joke guys, they all smoke pot and hang out there everyday. It's kind of sad, but they are great people too. We went back today, and I was talking with a woman who has such a big heart for the "kids" in that place - apparentely there are two gangs at the park that litterally kill innocent kids because they made a wrong look, or because one of the gangs wants all the drug deals to themselves, so if they catch someone else dealing they'll harm the other dealer. Sad sad story all around. Please be in prayer for them! We've gotten to go with instruments and just chill and play music (I jammed on the djembe!).

I have to tell you about the best day since I've been here. Monday morning before 6 am we were all kicked out of the building with what we slept in (we got a warning the night before so we were in actual clothes) and weren't allowed to come back until dinner after 5pm. We had nother except what was on our backs and a paper that said where to eat for free. I grouped with two other girls, and first we went to Starbucks and got free coffee (they had this thing if you pledge 5 hours of volunteer work you get a free drip on the honor system), then went into the Bart station to sleep and stay warm until it was day out. There we didn't really sleep, but danced around a little bit, asked passerbys for spare change (didn't have any success then) and Jay got a great idea to collect cans and bottles, so we found a few in the garbages there. Then we went to stand in line in front of Glide (right across from YWAM, also in the movie Pursuit of Happiness) for free breakfast they serve every morning for the homeless and the hungry. There we met a man we shared a conversation with, and he informed us of good places to find for free services because we told him we were new to the place, but didn't tell him we were staying with YWAM. The food was decent, but nothing I would choose over a real meal. It was good to see what these people actually go through each morning though just to fill their stomachs. And really it's like a community of people, it's incredible! So after breakfast, we went to Market street and started panhandling (we wanted money! hahaa) and ended up with 1.83 and 2 bus transfers, so we decided to collect more cans and bottles and then took a bus to the recycling center where we earned 1.32. Then it was about time for lunch, so we went back and stood in line at St. Anthony's (same concept - stand in line to get a ticket and go through and get passed a tray of food) but the food was SOO good - they even gave us Gherradilli chocolate squares! The people we ate with were so nice. After that, we took the bus up to Haight, Hippie Hill rather (same place our ministry is at) and just hung out in the sun, tried to fall asleep. I met a woman there and we got to pray with her, and met a man named Memphis - these people know God, but they don't KNOW GOD! You know what I mean?! So we hung out there for a bit and came back home - but all in all it was so much fun and we really enjoyed it. We stopped at a market to get gummy treats on our way home, so we left with nothing but came back with joy and candy. Sweet!

That was the beginning of our Outreach week. Monday night the previous DTS came back from their outreach in Thailand, and so we have 16 other people here, and they have so much energy and love for eachother, it's so incredible to see. Tuesday morning we had worship, and guys, it was amazing. I declared at that time and place a new season in my life where I would find intimacy with God and feel His love and desire for me. The wall is broken, Amen! And last night for intercession, we asked God what he thinks about us and each of us got a person we got to ask about as well. My friend Dan had me and God spoke beautiful words to me through him. I was in awe! These past few days we've gone out to do coffee ministry (passing out coffee in the TL to strike up convos) and it was so awesome yesterday. Met a man names Roni (like Macaroni), Michael and Eddy who all had great hearts for the Lord while living on the streets. Then later we went and played music in the TL and it was beautiful. I wish you all could experience this. And I wish I could say it's changing me, but I can't say it has all quite yet. I don't have the feeling of pure excitement to be here yet, but I know I will. I'm still adjusting and settling. Still need prayers for my heart and personal life, and also finances. Thank you again for your support! I love and miss you all!!!

- Savanna

Recieving a New Name

Week two and week three...come and gone...quickly. On my previous post I ended on a rather unsure note (sums up the first week perfectly), which is how i remained until the next Tuesday night rolled around. Every Tuesday night our DTS does intercession together as a group. Intercession was a new concept to me up until I arrived here (http://www.allaboutprayer.org/intercessory-prayer.htm) . So, I'll try and sum up what happened very briefly--->that night God LITERALLY spoke directly to me through our leader, Steve, and another sweet friend of mine, Eva. God basically outed me and a lie I had believed about myself my entire life, which until it had a name on it I never would have said that this was the "name" that I labeled myself with. After that was a tearful night full of revelation, and REPENTENCE! FINALLY free from the sin that had been weighing me down for months! I have never experienced God the way I did that night, never felt his longing for me so strongly... He reached down to me and pulled me back to Him. What an amazing Lord we serve... what a LOVING, RELATIONAL King we serve!
On Wednesday we found out which ministry we would be serving in for the next 5 months! Me and two other girls in the DTS are in it as well along with our leader Katie, Women's Ministry. We get to pioneer a ministry that reaches out to women on the street of the Tenderloin. As of now we are starting out by having a free coffee/snack and prayer night on Wednesday's to start builiding relationships with the women. By the end, when we have ones that are continually coming, we want to do a makeover night, give them pedicures, do their hair/makeup/clothes and take them out to a nice dinner. We all know that at the heart of every women is the desire to feel beautiful and loved... this is just one way to bless them. Along with that ministry we also will walk on Broadway where all the strip clubs are and get to know some bouncers, and the girls who work there while they are outside on their breaks... there have been incredible stories of redemeption there! The third thing that we will be involved in is research for Human Trafficking. I can't begin to describe my heart for this part of the ministry. Most of the human trafficking done here in SF is young asian women JAILED as sex slaves in so called "massage parlors". A block up from the street we live on there are three of these places.. three. It is heart breaking to know that they are right underneath us (they are all in basements with no windows) and there is nothing we can do to save them, I want to knock down doors and save these poor young girls who have been bought and sold into this booming, underground industry. So much corruption surrounds it. I could go on and on about this... I will post another informational blog about Human Trafficking at a later date as to not make this a novel! Anyways so me and the girls will be researching and tracking massage parlors, trying to get three strikes against them so we can report them to the health department and get them shut down and/or fined (still not even close to justice). We are also brainstorming ideas on how to get awareness raised for all the trafficking done within the U.S., done right under our noses! I believe that God will absolutely bring Justice and use me and all the people involved as His vessels, instilling ideas in our heads on how to begin to shut this industry down. I am so incredibly excited to see the ways God will show us His divine power and supremacy, He is continually showing all of us here the different aspects of His character and I am getting to know Him in ways I never thought possible. My Dallas and College Station bubble has been completely burst, and I PRAISE JESUS for that. It is impossible for me to ever be the same again and it has only been 3 weeks.
Today we were woken up at 5:45 am and kicked out on the street for "homeless plunge". We had to go out in what we slept in, couldn't bring a wallet, bag, phone, NOTHING.. just the clothes on our back. We split into 3 groups and ate at soup kitchens for breakfast and lunch, took naps in the street (i got kicked by a security guard while napping!), and slept on park benches in Nob Hill. It was quite an experience, and such a small smallll taste of what the people that actually live out there go through.
It is so hard for me to be able to write everything that goes on here so PLEASE read our schools blog http://www.sanfranciscodts.blogspot.com/ as well! I know I have much to learn and I'm sure that there are areas of my heart that I need to surrendur to Jesus, I'm just waiting for Him to show me. I want to live a life that is completely for Jesus and to make Him my first Husband, my first Romancer, and seek Him above all else. It will take me some work and some pushing and shoving to get there since I tend to think I know what's best for my own life (which is completely false) but I am sure that when i really and fully allow Him to, Jesus will reign over every part of me. We will see what it takes for me to get there! Sorry this was so long and thank you to all of you who read it all!

“No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.”- Martin Luther King, Jr

Mindy

Baby Steps Toward REAL Heart Change...

Week one has come and gone... it was a LONG emotional week. I don't even know where to begin, there is so much to say and tell. We live in a little district called "The Tenderloin", right in the dead center of where a large portion of the homeless in San Francisco reside. Most of them are current or previous drug addicts. With the addicts come all the dealers and violence surrounding it. I have never seen anything like it, we walk just outside our door and within a twenty minute walk will most likely witness at least 3 dealings and numerous lighting up... right there in public! The smell of weed and urine among the streets is POTENT. It is absolutely heartbreaking, but it continually confirms the desperate need and hunger for Jesus and I have great hope that a revival for Him is about to begin. I also have great hope that Jesus is bringing a radical revival for Him in my heart and in the hearts of all the other students here at the DTS with me. There are only 12 of us, 8 girls and 4 guys... by the end of these six months they will be my family.


So, in an effort to remain honest with all of you guys.. the first week was ROUGH! I was so extremely home sick, I just wanted to be home.. the change was so much so fast and I just didn't feel ready. Our leaders kept talking about how God is going to bring out the places of our deepest hurt, how much we are all going to change over the next six months, how we needed to get to the root of whatever our problems were; along with that we jumped right into street evangelism, intercessory prayer, sharing our testimonies with all the students... and it scared me to death. I just felt like my heart was so far away from all these things, it was all so new.

That was last week... this week however God showed up in a BIG way to me. Reaching down to me. But I'll save that for my next post ;)

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." -Martin Luther King Jr.

-Mindy

Hey all, it's Savanna! I have to say I agree with all that Mindy said. Like we've mentioned before, it seems as though in our walks, Mindy and I are at the same place in our hearts and lives which makes it easy to relate to each other and keep each other accountable on various levels. To be honest, since I've been here, there has been a void, a "wall", between myself and God. I never wanted this! I want my heart to be right with Him as it was in the past. I know I had struggles before I got here, but I've been forgiven from it all and I've let myself free from it through God's help. But still, there is a void I can't get past quite yet, and I have to say I hate it. It's like a sin that I can't control.
This past week we have had a great speaker by the name of John Bills who is teaching our DTS about "The Character and Nature of God." One of the messages that stuck out to us all, though seemed somewhat redudant, was how the things in our past, good or bad, reflect how we view God in His authority and love now. I know the things I've gone through have been dealt with, as far as forgiveness and such goes, most of them at least, but I'm not sure they faulter my relationship with God from then to now. But I realize there are some undealt with pains and hurts that have not been completely dealth with, mostly in relationship to family members, and those have hugely impacted my heart and relationships with any other person. So if you remember, please be in prayer for that and for the void between God and I to pass. Like Mindy said, it's hard to dive in deep, to go through intercession, prayer, and even worship or devotion when my heart just doesn't feel right. It's brutal because I know it can be different. But I'm willing to wait on the Lord to changes!

So while I'm going through things with God, and there are plenty good things as well, we've been able to explore much of the city. Mindy put the TL into good words. There is revival coming, and Satan IS losing his power over the city - but we need to be diligent with our prayers and Faith in God who is the ultimate power and changer of things on Earth. (Praise God!)

Last week I got to go Tango dancing with a few people from base, it was so much fun! (And free lessons/dance - perfect!) We've gone to the Fisherman's Wharf, and almost all the districts in the city. But I have to say my favorite place to be is Golden Gate Park, aka Hippie Hill, where absolutely fascinating events such as drum circles, hoola hooping, juggling, dancing and laughter take place. However, you can hardly walk through the place without getting a whiff of fresh "trees." For ministry groups that DTS gets to be involved in, I was selected to be a part of the "Haight Ministry Group" which essentially is at Hippie Hill in Haight to minister to the children of the love movement generation. I know God has great plans for His purpose in that place! They just need to hear and believe the true love is in Christ Jesus.
Well all, I love and miss you all. There is so much that has gone on, and I'll try to post as much as possible, but I don't want to drown you guys with too much info. Be praying for us with our hearts in Christ, and also finances (I know I still need help, but other students in the group do as well, and God provides!), and protection while in the city. Be blessed!

-Savanna

Honesty in Forthcoming

Hey, Friends! So I figured out that it's really hard to do a public blog, I realize this because usually I am to myself when it comes to honest emotions and thoughts, such as a personal journal. But I've been challenged to blog in all honesty, so I will do my best!

After a VERY long Monday, and I mean LONG, I finally made it to the base. We'll just say it was one iced caramel machiatto, 45 min drive to SeaTac with mom, 2 large bags for check-in, one (too) quick bye to mom, a 2 hour-crying-baby-in-front plane ride, then 2.5 hours spent going from terminal to terminal in SFO, LONG! haha. Mindy was the first one I saw, and I was so excited! She's a beautiful person. I'm so glad she was there waiting for me, and funny thing, we were having the same feeling of "what the heck am I getting myself into?"

I know I have to post a lot more, but I've got to run off to share my testimony (the other ones have been inspiring...I'm getting nervous). The man in this picture is "SeaWeed" and he really wanted me to take a picture of him and Kaya!

-Savanna

BTW, our address! Just use our personal name at the top, then that address:

357 Ellis Street

San Francisco, CA 94102

Hello! Mindy here (i will post later), I want to try and put a quote on each posting and this is one that definately applies to the past four days that we have been here...

"The decision to grow always involves a choice between risk and comfort.

This means that to be a follower of Jesus you must renounce comfort as the

ultimate value of your life." -John Ortberg