A Change Has Come!

Man... i really am HORRIBLE at keeping up with blogging, my sincere apologies. I have a love/hate relationship with writing this. LOVE because i enjoy keeping everyone updated and staying in contact with those who read. HATE because i feel like all the growth, heart changes, and learning experiences (in and outside the classroom) can not be explained adequately here... words can not do it justice. In the past 2.5 months I have shed more tears (which my beautiful mom has heard the bulk of) than I usually do in 5 years time. Some good tears, some bad... but really don't most tears wind up doing something good, or allow you to get past something to get to the good stuff? That's just my opinion though. I finally feel like I am at such a place of learning and contentment. While some of the things about YWAM bother me and i disagree with certain aspects, I have learned (with the help of my wonderful Dad) to look past all that and really focus on what God is doing in my heart. I know that i won't agree on everything with most organizations ... it's being sure that the heart of it is TRUTH and does not stray away from the Gospel! I really think that God brought me out here away from ALL THINGS familiar just to get me alone with Him, so He could teach and grow me..get closer to me. IT WORKED! The main focus for me has just been seeing the true Father Heart of God, my own personal theme if you will and being broken from all things I had my fists clenched around-- trying to live life with open hands! The thing that has taught me the most here is not done in the classroom. It's living in community, close community. Where it's impossible to hide anything and to struggle together, pray together, praise together..everything TOGETHER! I feel like living in fellowship has been something that i totally have missed out on my whole life. I mean, shouldn't I have realized that earlier? How many times does God "one another" us in the bible? Now I see why! Never have I had friends who would encourage and build me up daily, call me out on things i need to be called out on, that would be as open and honest with me as i am with them, and that most importantly are seeking Jesus and yearning for His will for their life as much as I am. The relationships I have built here are just so full. Being in close relationship (and corridors!) with so many people has taught me a lot about myself, some that I liked, some that I didn't like about myself and am working on changing. Always changing and learning--- it's really quite beautiful... as long as it's in the Jesus direction. Jesus, He is amazing. Beautiful. Mmmmmm, I love how He continually romances us. Whether it's with smells, sounds, creation, or just a feeling. He really is the Lover of my soul. What a sporadic blog! I hope I got some point or some part of my heart across. I really tried, but like i said it's hard to find the right words sometimes.

"Even when our outward body is wasting away,
our inward body is being renewed day by day.
Therefore, we do not lose heart."
2 Corinthians 4:15&16

Tah! (as my Aussie friend Eva says)
-Mindy

What is your Goliath? (Updated March 10, 2009)

Dear Friends - I feel as though I have so much to communicate to you about what's happened this past week or so. I guess I'll just lay it out for you - in seek or prayer for the situations: About a month ago, as some students were coming inside from a walk, there was a stabbing across the street witnessed by those students. We found out the guy didn't make it, and it was a very scary scene to watch; a few days later we found out of another stabbing very near us as well - we've learned these, and like most crimes like such, are between drug dealers and users; 2 weeks ago there was a drive by shooting a block away from where we live, 5 people got shot, and unfortunately one was killed - a mother of 4 or 5 kids that are now orphans :'(; The weekend before this past, John, the man I mentioned before, was harrassed by a man that has come in our store front a few times and has stolen some things. The man has stolen John's bed stuff before (which we've provided for him and he sleeps in the doorway), and this time he was after his cigarettes. Amanda and I were standing behind the door telling him to leave or we'll call the cops, but he wouldn't listen, he just kept trying to take John's stuff. I turned to yell for Chris to come, and I looked back and the man had a wooden block in his hand that he was beating John on the head with - it was heartbreaking to watch, I couldn't believe it. He ended up stealing what he wanted and leaving John, who just sat there shooken up, with a bloody hole in his head dripping blood down his face. It was so sad, and my eyes just began filling with tears. I found myself asking God "why?" The cops came to get a discription and the ambulance came to patch him up, but John didn't get angry, he apologized for letting it happen in front of our building. Sweet John; about an hour later two of my roommates came back from doing there laundry...they had just witnessed a woman fall from three stories up and kill herself. This woman took her own life, and Eva was so brave to take her duty as a nurse and attempt to help the woman, but there was nothing that could have been done. The girls need prayer for the trauma they just witnessed, along with the family of the woman and the other people who saw what happened. We later talked about it and while suicide happens everywhere, we can see how the drugs and depression and all the things the enemy attacks the Tenderloin with can result in this. It is very sad, but we want to see God's glory reign down over these circumstances; last week, as some students were on their way home, there was a shooting at the grocery market we go to across the street - one man shot another, but no one was killed(!). Please be in prayer for our safety and for God to grab a hold of the hearts here and turn them to Him, and that Satan will flee from this area in Christ's name!

Obviously this area is facing many Goliaths. Last week at church the pastor read from 1 Samuel which tells about the story of David and Goliath. Over this past week, I've been thinking a lot about the various dreams I have for my life, dreams that fulfill my passions and to glorify God by bringing people into His kingdom. The Goliath about it all is that there are so MANY dreams, and they are LARGE dreams in hindsight. Our speakers this week presented the various ways God used them in their lives through YWAM, but moreso in ministry to bring God glory. Tom opened an american restaurant in India that is used to minister to the middle-upper class citizens; Steve Goode was able to bring refugees from various 3rd world nations into Thailand to build a new healthy community and brought thousands of people to know the Lord; and Karol and her family lived in India working with the community there (I didn't get to hear all they did, they've been living back in San Fran for a few years now). I am at peace at the fact that God will bring to me great places in His name, as long as I'm seeking to Love Him and His people!

Our DTS is leaving for Italy for Outreach in May, and we were informed last week that if we can pay for out tickets by this Friday, March 13, we could save hundreds of dollars, thousands total really, from the cost of airfare. I was told by our director that I'll still need a little over $4000, but another $1000 in order to pay for the plane ticket by this Friday (WOAH!). I don't know what's going to happen - but as my friend and family, will you please consider supporting me financially (and of course prayerfully) through this DTS. I'm asking for partnership with my loved ones as I seek God to change my life and to use me to change the lives of others in San Francisco and in Italy. If you have questions, please email me at Savannarwb@hotmail.com, and if you're able to sponsor me, please send a check to: Savanna Watkinson 357 Ellis Street San Francisco, CA 94102. Again thank you for all who have supported me already, I sincerely appreciate it and God sees your obedient heart! I love and miss you all - I'll be home this weekend to visit the church and spend time with my family for our off weekend. I'm excited to see beautiful Washington state again! And my loved ones, of course!

Fun fact: tomorrow I'll be celebrating my 21st birthday with all my friends here at DTS at Ocean Beach around a bonfire. I'm so stoked!

-Savanna (there is so much more to say, and I hope to share it soon, but I needed to get this out before too late!)