What's Going On?

Hey all, it's Savanna. I realize it's been a while since I've written. Part of it has to do with my lazyness and being busy with other things, and some of it has to do my not knowing how to sum up all that's been going on in a short blog. The title relates to the past few weeks because it's what I've been asking about a lot of things in life lately. Such as what is going on in my heart, in my walk with God, or perhaps the next morning, or with DTS group in general, what's going on after DTS, etc. And then it gets to deep questions such as what's going on in the TL to make it like it is, what's going on in God's plans for this place, etc.
Just a few minutes ago Linda and I were outside helping one of our "regulars" get tucked in his sleeping outside our door. Many if not all nights other people on the streets tease him or beat on him and he is nearly defensless. He has been around our base for a very long time, as far as I know way before I even got here, and the people here have been working with him for a long time to try to help him out and get into a better situation. The problem is that he doesn't have a place to live, and he has bi-polar disorder and other mental illnesses so it's hard to get him into a place or with that state and when he chooses to drink. But he is such a kind and sweet man that I know loves the Lord in his heart. Sad to say, but sometimes we pray that he'll get arrested so he can get a good meal and shelter in jail or get help in a hospital at least for the night. (He chooses to leave the hospitals even though they help him). I guess I can't really relay the situation back to you in full because I don't know all about it, but I know that at least every other night we see him, and his moods vary, but he is a nice gentleman that needs God's protection, comfort, and mercy. So I'm asking you to pleast lift him up in your prayers - and the others in the Tenderloin district because even though we get to take care of this man as best as possible, we aren't a facility for that kind of care, and there are so many other people in the same situation that are living on the streets. But it's NOT a hopeless routine, I refuse to believe it is, because they are all God's children, and He is using His followers to help the lost.
I have to be honest, as I walk around and see all the depressing situations around here, and think about the disheartening things all around the world, my heart crumbles and my mind goes haywire, asking myself what can be done? What can I do? GOD, HOW CAN I STOP THIS FROM HAPPENING?! Then I get frustrated at the Devil, at myself for my inability to make things change, and at mankind for their selfishness and lazyness. But the Lord, as gracious as He is, reminded me that it's not my fault. He asked me to pray for it. He reminded me of how POWERFUL prayer is. And it's so true! So I guess my prayer at this point is to be reminded to pray constantly for the each end of the world, especially when my mind gets disrupted with the thoughts about the evil things all around. This week we learned about Spiritual Warfare, and Dean Sherman spoke wonderfully about how each prayer is counted for, and when we start praying for nations, changes start happening. Praise God!

I have to tell you something that was incredible, other than the awesome teachings we've gotten over the past few weeks about evangelism and spiritual warfare. On Valentine's Day San Francisco held a city wide pillow fight at Embarcadero. A few friends and I went down to watch the fun and eventually joined in - it was a blast! I honestly think every city should do it, and more than once a year. It's a great community event, and a good way to get any frustrations out in a safe manor! Our DTS group did a Secret Valentine gift exchange, which I feel turned out really good. It was a good way to get together and share love with one another and get everyone laughing and smiling!
On another good note - God's still working on me! Earlier in the DTS one of our leaders sensed that this is going to be a messy DTS, and I can be honest and say that it has been and I'm expecting that it still will be. But I think I'm ok with that now. I just think of the book of James when it talks about being joyous through trials because it's going to make your stronger in the end! I've felt like a slump (if that's even a noun) pretty much this whole DTS when it comes to my faith, wanting to grow and be "where I used to be." But I know it's not going to happen! This week we were challenged to meditate on Luke 14:25-35, and honestly it spoke to me differently than what I think most others got from it. Especially when Jesus is talking about the salt losing it's flavor and it not being restored. Honestly, I feel like a grain of salt that has lost it's flavor, and it breaks my heart because my heart so longs to be passionate and on fire for God and his people, but lately it's been hiding underneath my pride and selfishness. But knowing how great God's grace is, even though my "flavor" won't be restored to it's old way, I believe God is making me into a new "grain of salt" with exceptional flavor! I tell you the truth, me (and we) are right at the turning point, and it's so exciting knowing that GOd is so faithful to pick us up. I've been so challenged lately with my heart and my walk with Christ, and while it's been a bitter-sweet, the sweet is going to be SOOOO much greater!
Ok I feel like I've written a book, and sorry but I don't even think I've covered even half of the things God has been doing, but have faith that my life and the others at the base are being worked on beyond our understanding at this point. Once again I ask for your prayers that God provides finances for this DTS. I'm still about $5,200 short, and other students have even more to raise. If you've ever thought about possibly contributing even a little bit, please pray about donating because even a litte helps as it all adds up. I'm also selling photography prints for donations, as well! You can visit www.flickr.com/photos/savannawatkinson to take a peek if you're interested. I love and miss you all back at home. Take care and God bless!!!

-Savanna

Silence and Solitude

So sorry that it has been so long since my last post, My computer pooped out on me almost 2 weeks ago so i have been without laptop for a while! I find it so incredibly difficult to post blogs because there is so much that happens here each and every day and I can never do it enough justice. Anyways so lately I have been learning much about the importance of being making time for silence and solitude with God. A few weeks ago on a Saturday we were all sent out to different cathedrals across the city just so we could reflect on the last month of our lives and us being here... instead of being inside all day I went across the street to the a park on Nob Hill and sat on a park bench for four hours listening to worship, journaling, and observing the kids playing on the playground. It was here that I realized and concentrated on the Father Heart of God as i watched the fathers play with their children on the playground... whenever they would fall and cry the dad's were right there to scoop them up, comfort them, and once again make them laugh. I have always called God my "Father" but never meditated on what exactly that means in all its many facets... a father is loving, protective, wants the best for His children, wants His children to mature and grow up in their faith and in wisdom and be able to walk on their own but communicate with Him in the process, provides, leads, and is the strength of the family. I could go on forever about the Father Heart of God and am sad that I never have taken the time to study all the different names that God calls Himself-- it reveals so much about His nature and character.

I have been trying to get an idea of what i want to do once the DTS is over. I realllly feel like God wants me to go to different churches, organizations, home groups, small groups, etc and spread awareness about Human Trafficking and how people can realistically address this issue in their own lives since it is so underground and massive! So I have been talking to my awesome Mom about wanting to do that and my leader Katie here. The morning after i told Katie about what i wanted to do we found out that on our outreach in Italy some of us would be trained and sent to different churches to spread awareness about Human Trafficking! How amazing is God?! He is totally preparing and equipping me for where my heart is so that I can go out and do this EFFECTIVELY for His glory and for His justice! I am so excited for that and to learn, to research and study and get more involved in this world issue I can't describe it.

Things are not always very easy here... I have been having difficulty not feeling homesick all the time (my nephew was born on 2/12!!!!!). God is continually bringing me outside of my comfort zone in every way possible and it gets freaking exhausting! Living in community like this is wonderful but so intense, the people in my DTS see all my weird moods, my brokenness, my bad and good habits.. everything, its weird to be known so well and to be open to feeling like I can really let them. I am working on that. A lot of the DTS focuses on introspection.. getting to the root and core of all our issues that block us from fully giving ourselves 100% to Jesus and His will, a lot of the issues that have come up I didn't even realize were there such as: unbelief, pride, distrust, my need to control everything in my own life and apathy. This was not easy to admit! Its something that i know I will have to face and come up against daily in asking God to give me His spirit and make these things not a part of me because in no way do these things show people who He is! In saying that I am asking you all for prayer for me for perseverance and strength because it get's wearing here and there is little time for rest!

I think that is all for now... I will try to post more frequently so i can portray what happens here more efficiently! Thank you all much for your prayers and for keeping in contact with me! If there is anything you want to know please email me at reyes.mindy@gmail.com.. i would love to hear from you personally
---Mindy

"To have no opinion of ourselves, and to think always well and highly of others is great wisdom and perfection." - Thomas a Kempis