Baby Steps Toward REAL Heart Change...

Week one has come and gone... it was a LONG emotional week. I don't even know where to begin, there is so much to say and tell. We live in a little district called "The Tenderloin", right in the dead center of where a large portion of the homeless in San Francisco reside. Most of them are current or previous drug addicts. With the addicts come all the dealers and violence surrounding it. I have never seen anything like it, we walk just outside our door and within a twenty minute walk will most likely witness at least 3 dealings and numerous lighting up... right there in public! The smell of weed and urine among the streets is POTENT. It is absolutely heartbreaking, but it continually confirms the desperate need and hunger for Jesus and I have great hope that a revival for Him is about to begin. I also have great hope that Jesus is bringing a radical revival for Him in my heart and in the hearts of all the other students here at the DTS with me. There are only 12 of us, 8 girls and 4 guys... by the end of these six months they will be my family.


So, in an effort to remain honest with all of you guys.. the first week was ROUGH! I was so extremely home sick, I just wanted to be home.. the change was so much so fast and I just didn't feel ready. Our leaders kept talking about how God is going to bring out the places of our deepest hurt, how much we are all going to change over the next six months, how we needed to get to the root of whatever our problems were; along with that we jumped right into street evangelism, intercessory prayer, sharing our testimonies with all the students... and it scared me to death. I just felt like my heart was so far away from all these things, it was all so new.

That was last week... this week however God showed up in a BIG way to me. Reaching down to me. But I'll save that for my next post ;)

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." -Martin Luther King Jr.

-Mindy

Hey all, it's Savanna! I have to say I agree with all that Mindy said. Like we've mentioned before, it seems as though in our walks, Mindy and I are at the same place in our hearts and lives which makes it easy to relate to each other and keep each other accountable on various levels. To be honest, since I've been here, there has been a void, a "wall", between myself and God. I never wanted this! I want my heart to be right with Him as it was in the past. I know I had struggles before I got here, but I've been forgiven from it all and I've let myself free from it through God's help. But still, there is a void I can't get past quite yet, and I have to say I hate it. It's like a sin that I can't control.
This past week we have had a great speaker by the name of John Bills who is teaching our DTS about "The Character and Nature of God." One of the messages that stuck out to us all, though seemed somewhat redudant, was how the things in our past, good or bad, reflect how we view God in His authority and love now. I know the things I've gone through have been dealt with, as far as forgiveness and such goes, most of them at least, but I'm not sure they faulter my relationship with God from then to now. But I realize there are some undealt with pains and hurts that have not been completely dealth with, mostly in relationship to family members, and those have hugely impacted my heart and relationships with any other person. So if you remember, please be in prayer for that and for the void between God and I to pass. Like Mindy said, it's hard to dive in deep, to go through intercession, prayer, and even worship or devotion when my heart just doesn't feel right. It's brutal because I know it can be different. But I'm willing to wait on the Lord to changes!

So while I'm going through things with God, and there are plenty good things as well, we've been able to explore much of the city. Mindy put the TL into good words. There is revival coming, and Satan IS losing his power over the city - but we need to be diligent with our prayers and Faith in God who is the ultimate power and changer of things on Earth. (Praise God!)

Last week I got to go Tango dancing with a few people from base, it was so much fun! (And free lessons/dance - perfect!) We've gone to the Fisherman's Wharf, and almost all the districts in the city. But I have to say my favorite place to be is Golden Gate Park, aka Hippie Hill, where absolutely fascinating events such as drum circles, hoola hooping, juggling, dancing and laughter take place. However, you can hardly walk through the place without getting a whiff of fresh "trees." For ministry groups that DTS gets to be involved in, I was selected to be a part of the "Haight Ministry Group" which essentially is at Hippie Hill in Haight to minister to the children of the love movement generation. I know God has great plans for His purpose in that place! They just need to hear and believe the true love is in Christ Jesus.
Well all, I love and miss you all. There is so much that has gone on, and I'll try to post as much as possible, but I don't want to drown you guys with too much info. Be praying for us with our hearts in Christ, and also finances (I know I still need help, but other students in the group do as well, and God provides!), and protection while in the city. Be blessed!

-Savanna