A Change Has Come!

Man... i really am HORRIBLE at keeping up with blogging, my sincere apologies. I have a love/hate relationship with writing this. LOVE because i enjoy keeping everyone updated and staying in contact with those who read. HATE because i feel like all the growth, heart changes, and learning experiences (in and outside the classroom) can not be explained adequately here... words can not do it justice. In the past 2.5 months I have shed more tears (which my beautiful mom has heard the bulk of) than I usually do in 5 years time. Some good tears, some bad... but really don't most tears wind up doing something good, or allow you to get past something to get to the good stuff? That's just my opinion though. I finally feel like I am at such a place of learning and contentment. While some of the things about YWAM bother me and i disagree with certain aspects, I have learned (with the help of my wonderful Dad) to look past all that and really focus on what God is doing in my heart. I know that i won't agree on everything with most organizations ... it's being sure that the heart of it is TRUTH and does not stray away from the Gospel! I really think that God brought me out here away from ALL THINGS familiar just to get me alone with Him, so He could teach and grow me..get closer to me. IT WORKED! The main focus for me has just been seeing the true Father Heart of God, my own personal theme if you will and being broken from all things I had my fists clenched around-- trying to live life with open hands! The thing that has taught me the most here is not done in the classroom. It's living in community, close community. Where it's impossible to hide anything and to struggle together, pray together, praise together..everything TOGETHER! I feel like living in fellowship has been something that i totally have missed out on my whole life. I mean, shouldn't I have realized that earlier? How many times does God "one another" us in the bible? Now I see why! Never have I had friends who would encourage and build me up daily, call me out on things i need to be called out on, that would be as open and honest with me as i am with them, and that most importantly are seeking Jesus and yearning for His will for their life as much as I am. The relationships I have built here are just so full. Being in close relationship (and corridors!) with so many people has taught me a lot about myself, some that I liked, some that I didn't like about myself and am working on changing. Always changing and learning--- it's really quite beautiful... as long as it's in the Jesus direction. Jesus, He is amazing. Beautiful. Mmmmmm, I love how He continually romances us. Whether it's with smells, sounds, creation, or just a feeling. He really is the Lover of my soul. What a sporadic blog! I hope I got some point or some part of my heart across. I really tried, but like i said it's hard to find the right words sometimes.

"Even when our outward body is wasting away,
our inward body is being renewed day by day.
Therefore, we do not lose heart."
2 Corinthians 4:15&16

Tah! (as my Aussie friend Eva says)
-Mindy